Afraid To Put Down A Suffering Animal Because Of Love Vulnerability: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Have A Fear Of Being Vulnerable?

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Vulnerability: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Have A Fear Of Being Vulnerable?

You could say that someone who wants to grow and develop must be comfortable with vulnerability. The reason for this is that if a person has a need to protect himself, he will not open up to life.

Their main priority will be to do everything they can to keep everything the same and so it will be vital to keep anything new or different at bay. But living this way will make them feel comfortable, but it will also lead them to live in a prison without bars.

A predictable existence

Their need to survive will overshadow the rest of their needs, causing them to neglect some of their needs. Such a person can look back on his life and see that his life rarely changes.

There is no fixed path for them, but they keep walking in the same direction, as it were. Living this way probably means they’ll get used to feeling angry and powerless, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be able to see the role they play in this.

Disconnected

When it comes to the people in their lives, they will probably only let these people get so close. As a result, they will only share certain parts of themselves – the parts that do not involve risk or emotional expression.

Or, if they are expressing their emotions, they may be showing only the emotions that make them feel unexposed. So anger, rage, and frustration might be fine, but shame, guilt, or sadness, for example, are probably off-limits.

A lack of intimacy

Keeping people at a distance will keep them from having fulfilling relationships. Their minds and even their bodies will be involved, but their hearts will be generally overlooked.

Ergo, if they’re with another person, it’s most likely a very superficial relationship. The kind of connection they have with this person can be very similar to the kind of relationship someone can have with an old pair of shoes – they will have become attached to them, but they won’t do much for their feet.

Hide

There is always a chance that such a person has no friends or relationship and only spends time with people when they are at work, for example. Regardless of whether they have people in their life or not, they will not reveal their true selves to anyone.

This becomes something that would be too much of a risk because it would be seen as something that would give other people the chance to harm them. Disguising who they are and playing a role won’t be satisfying, but it will keep them safe.

Inner model

What is clear is that when someone experiences life in this way, he or she will not have a very positive view of most people and the world in general. It can be like most people want to humiliate them and do what they can to keep them down.

The best way for them to deal with this is to stay on their toes at all times and do everything they can to make sure they don’t show any weakness. In the same way that a rabbit that shows weakness is soon eaten by another animal in the wild; showing weakness will be seen as something that will cause them to be torn apart by other people.

A cold world

If they come across someone who is kind, compassionate and can empathize with others, they may wonder what’s going on. This kind of person goes against the inner model they have for people.

In their minds, most people will be seen as incapable of empathizing and being compassionate towards others. Believing that most people are like this, it won’t come as a big surprise to them to do everything they can to make sure they don’t come across as vulnerable.

A closer look

Now it would be easy to say that not everyone is like that and they just need to change what they believe. Another approach would be to explore why they ended up this way before making any suggestions as to what they can do to change their lives.

Chances are they grew up in an environment where it wasn’t safe for them to be vulnerable. Their mother and/or father may have been very rude, making it clear that it was not safe for them to reveal certain parts of themselves.

Completely sadistic

For example, apart from physically and/or emotionally abusing them, they may not have reacted to their suffering. Perhaps they even saw it as a bit of a joke and not something that required their empathy and compassion.

Perhaps one or both parents lacked the capacity for empathy, making it impossible for them to receive the love they desperately needed at this stage in their lives. After a few years of being treated like this, they would soon have received the message that it was not safe enough for them to exist.

Less than human

These early experiences would have caused them to experience a lot of trauma, trauma that will still be in their bodies. In addition to the fear and anxiety they carry with them, there will likely be a lot of embarrassment.

Being treated this way led them to believe there was something inherently wrong with them. With this in mind, hiding their true selves will not only be a way to keep people from harming them, it will also be a way to keep people from realizing how flawed they are.

Awareness

If they found out, it will be seen as something that will get them rejected and then abandoned. The result of this may be that a person comes to believe that his life is coming to an end.

It will be essential for someone to seek help if they can identify with this, and this is something that can be provided by a therapist or a healer. In the end, there is nothing inherently wrong with them, but they probably won’t realize this until after they start processing the layers of trauma that are within them.

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