A Saying For A Lost Love One Who Loved Animals Dang! I Almost Killed Myself

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Dang! I Almost Killed Myself

I came out of the coma. It was not expected. It also surprised the doctors and family that I wasn’t in worse physical condition. I looked like I’d lost in the boxing ring – both front teeth gone, tongue twice its size and badly bruised all over.

The stress of feeding my mother’s life energy from the dying embers had overwhelmed me. The only thing that helped was forbidden by Mom’s eldest daughter: rescuing broken animals and restoring them to health.

As I focused against the flickering lights of the hospital, I saw my small, sad mother sitting next to my moaning sister. “I just became your worst enemy,” were the first words I heard him say. She stepped right into that role and has done immeasurable damage to my life before and since.

The kind of energy my brother exudes in me or anyone who challenges him is why I didn’t want to be on this planet. It poisons people like me. Some of us cannot absorb toxic energy and stay balanced. We are the writers, artists and creators from all walks of life and we co-create with the universe to bring our version of art into this world to raise the vibration.

I let myself become weak by focusing on someone else’s needs instead of my own. A better plan would be to expand care into ‘repositories’ but always keep enough to maintain a healthy and balanced life.

The police officer who appeared at my hospital bed made eye contact and said, “Can you stay?” He helped me to my feet and added, “I’d rather not handcuff you if I don’t have to.” I knew but he didn’t, “I had no fight left.” I surrendered.

It’s a good thing I did because at that point I was no longer free. Reaching the doorknob for the first time was sobering. It wasn’t there. I couldn’t open it. Only a man in white had the authority to let me go.

The turnaround came quickly when I learned that ‘family’ (my older sister) had sought ‘permanent placement’. The nurse/social worker/person in white said they don’t do that anymore. This is a ‘temporary stop to check your drugs and not a jail term,’ she informed me. I’m glad Sis thought so much of my future.

“It ends here,” I told myself. I was willing to listen to anyone who had an answer. I didn’t know that doctors didn’t know what to do with alcoholics. They are as confused as many alcoholics as to why we do what we do to the extent that we do it.

A chemically imbalanced brain will make deadly choices. That’s my definition of insanity.

I needed Sane Sherry back. No one missed it more than me.

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