A Friend Claims That Animals Have Emotions Just As Humans Personal Development – How to Win Friends and Influence People

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Personal Development – How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie’s Top 3 Personal Development Techniques for Dealing with People show simple, yet incredibly effective things we can all do to influence others. I have read this book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. You really should get a copy.

It’s one of those all-time bestsellers that people just keep talking about, so I picked up a copy.

Success books are about giving you an idea, or some stimulus or training to move you from one place to another. We truly become the sum total of all that we absorb. I love reading these books – anything that can help me become a better person I need!

Sometimes these books are so logical, so basic that you wonder why they are bestsellers, how it is possible that they have been talked about so much for so long. I mean—this book was first published in the 1930s. But I’ve realized that for many people, they’ve never been trained from childhood on how to relate to people, how to care for someone other than themselves, how to be genuinely willing to connect and lead people – these books break it down. so simply, anyone can improve their relationships.

How to win friends and influence people

Dale Carnegie gives 3 tips in the first part of the book: Basic techniques in dealing with people. See how you rate yourself on these, they are invaluable in both our personal and business lives.

1. Do not criticize, condemn or complain

Criticism, condemnation, or complaining simply alienates and turns others against you. He advises:

“When dealing with people, let us remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with emotional creatures, creatures filled with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.’

Just think back to an experience where you knew this to be true. What if someone criticized you, even if it was deserved, did it make you want to help that person or do something to make them happy? Or it made you withdraw somehow, or get angry, irritated, or irritated.

The criticized person tends to justify himself, because he sees things only from his point of view. The fault is not theirs, but others’.

All criticism does is make people defensive, angry and hurt. Ultimately, the situation that needed to be changed will remain.

Psychologists have proven in case studies that “animals rewarded for good behavior will learn much faster and retain what they learn much more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.”

To encourage good, to have self-control and great character should be the goal of all of us. ‘A great man (or woman) shows greatness by the way he treats little men’.

There are some people who live to complain. Those customers who call or email and just want to rant, or maybe you have kids and they haven’t done what you’ve asked 10 times already. You need to decide what kind of person you want to be known for. Learn patience, understanding and ‘speak the good of all’.

2. Give honest and sincere feedback

Dale Carnegie’s observation here is that ‘the deepest drive in human nature is the desire to be important’. When we can make people feel important, you will have instant relationships. Take time to thank others, to acknowledge their contribution to something, to notice even the little things that others do around you – they will open their heart to you because you have cared about what they take care – of themselves!

“Here is a gnawing and unceasing human hunger, and the rare individual who sincerely satisfies this hunger of the heart will hold men in the palm of his or her hand, and “even the gravedigger will feel sorry for die”.

One of the greatest assets you can develop in yourself is the ability to truly appreciate and encourage those around you. Be generous in your praise and gratitude to everyone you meet. Not in a fake, mechanical way, but genuinely reach out and connect – you will reap incredible rewards.

He tells a story to illustrate this truth:

“According to this silly story, a farm woman, at the end of her hard day’s work, placed before her men a pile of hay. And when they indignantly asked if she had gone mad she replied: “Why, how did i know you would notice? I’ve been cooking for you men for the last twenty years, and in all that time I’ve never heard a single word from you to let me know you weren’t just eating hay.” When a study was done a few years ago on runaway women, what do you think? that was found to be the main reason women ran away? It was ‘lack of appreciation.’ And I’ll bet a similar study of runaway men would come up the same way. although we never let them know we value them.’

This is not flattery we are talking about, or self-motivated words to appease someone, but genuine appreciation and gratitude. You can work in an office where the cleaner comes and goes and you never stop to say thank you. You can walk past the supermarket receptionist or checkout assistant and never take the time to make them feel welcome. Such a simple thing can make you have influence and favor wherever you go.

3. Arouse in the other person a burning desire

There is a quote in this section that is fascinating, it says:

“the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and tell them how to get it”

He elaborates by saying:

“The world is full of people who are greedy and selfish, so the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has a great advantage.”

As a business owner you want to sell something to someone. This is great advice for your sales.

What does your customer want? In their own words, what are they looking for? When you can give them what they want, then you can tell them how to get it, you’ll have unlimited potential to help your customers get exactly what they’re looking for. ‘Action springs from what we fundamentally desire…’.

Carnegie says:

‘Tomorrow you may want to persuade someone to do something. Before you speak, stop and ask yourself, “How can I make this person want to do that?” This question will stop us from rushing into a careless situation, with idle chatter about our desires.’

He quotes Henry Ford as saying:

“If there is any secret to success, it lies in the ability to take another’s point of view and see things from that person’s point of view as well as your own.”

If we all took some time and worked on our personal development and paid attention to those around us, treating them as we would like to be treated, imagine how good it would be. This feeling of being accepted and important would build relationships both personally and professionally. These keys really begin to separate the great from the ordinary, you will truly ‘win friends’ and influence people.

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