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The Seven Dimensions of Love
Love is the most beautiful reality of this world. She traverses the world like God. It is the hardest to “define” love, but the easiest to “know”. We all know what love is. Even an animal knows what love is. Love is, therefore, a matter of realization, and the knowledge of love is the knowledge of the universe. Saint Kabir, the famous Sufi poet said:
Many people died reading the Scriptures,
Yet they failed to become wise,
He who understood the meaning of “love”,
He is the only man who is wise.
So love is not just an emotion, but also the deepest knowledge that a human can hope to know. Once we know love, nothing else remains unknown. However, there is nothing mysterious or complex about love as even the most innocent person “knows” it without reading a single book.
Knowing love requires not only the application of the mind, but also of the heart, soul and intuition.
The complexity of love is due to the fact that love has multiple dimensions. It is like a living being made up of many body parts. These limbs are interconnected in such a way that they complement each other. They are all important and part and parcel of being as a person becomes lame even if a part of the body is missing.
THE SEVEN DIMENSIONS
Love manifests itself in seven different forms. It is like a white ray of light that hides in it the spectrum of seven colors. If even color is missing, love is incomplete. These seven dimensions are described as follows.
1. Love is sensual
The most primary dimension of love is the body which leads to the gratification of the senses. You cannot love someone who cannot be seen or imagined. Sensual affection is so important in love that people often use the word “love” interchangeably with “lust” which seeks sexual pleasure. Although lust is believed by many to be the lowest manifestation of love, yet sensuality has been an indispensable ingredient in love. For example, the Sufis developed their love for God through sensuality. They imagined God as male (or female) and themselves as their lover. The root of idolatry also lies in man’s need to develop an emotional and sensual connection with God. Religions that ignored the physical dimensions of love often made their followers callous and ruthless. People who ignored the physical dimension of love often fail to find love in their lives.
2. Love is compassion
Aristotle said: “Love consists of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” This is perhaps the simplest definition of love. When a person loves another person, he shares the person’s pain and happiness as if they share the same soul. This is called compassion which is defined as “deep awareness and sympathy for the suffering of another”. A mother who loves her child cannot bear the pain of her child and even give her life if it is beneficial to reduce the pain of her child. Often people feel possessive about their love as they want to avoid any pain towards their loved one.
3. Love is Care
Love is not just an emotion that brings people together. When you love a person, you do everything to make your beloved happy, because in her happiness lies your happiness. The difference of bodies disappears for people in love. Love without action has no meaning as illustrated in this beautiful poem “Which one loved best?” by Joy Allison.
“I love you. Mother,” said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his hat went on,
And he went to the garden swing,
And he left water and wood to bring.
“I love you, mother,” said Rosy Nell—
“I love you better than tongues can say”;
Then she was agitated and tearful for half the day,
Until her mother was happy when she went to play.
“I love you mother,” said little Fan;
“Today I will help you as much as I can;
How glad I am that school is out!”
So she rocked the baby until he fell asleep.
Then, treading gently, she picked up the broom,
And swept the floor and tidied the room;
She was busy and happy all day,
Helpful and happy as a child could be.
“I love you mother,” again they said,
Three little children going to bed;
How do you think that mother guessed?
Which one really loved him more?
If love does not lead to positive action of care, it cannot be love. It is for this reason that the whole religion asked the followers to do charity work for the benefit of the poor as only by positive action God can be pleased and love for God is manifested.
4. Love is separation
Love is not just the sharing of the soul, but also the sharing of worldly things. The family is a typical unit of love where everyone shares everything with others. They share the house, their belongings, furniture and everything in the house. Everything belongs to everyone in the family. My difference towards them disappears for people in love. If you are not willing to share your most valuable thing with your lover, you probably do not love that person. A man who loves God always considers everything that belongs to God. Therefore he would have no attachment to any of the material goods. Therefore, he has no hesitation in giving away his goods to others. One who accumulates wealth or remains attached to wealth cannot love. Similarly, he who does not want to share his wealth with the people he loves does not really love.
5. Love is faith
Trust is the most important thing in love. How can you not trust a person who shares your soul? When there is no trust, love cannot endure. When you love, you put your full faith in your faith. Without faith love is not possible as faith is the test of love. It is easy to say that you love someone or to say that you are like two bodies and one soul. However, it is not easy to create complete trust in a loved one. When a person loves God, he has full faith in God, which is called faith. When you love your child, you trust them completely. The importance of trust in love is beautifully expressed in the poem “Trust” by Malcolm Coleman
Fragile as a lily,
it cements relationships.
Without it there can be no meaning
with the words “I love you”,
without it all things fail,
and happiness is eroded.
Like trees in autumn
so I lose my life
if you believe I’m not.
I must have faith
because faith builds hope and love.
Faith brings about all things
a whole that is sublime,
and that cannot be explained.
My whole soul cries out in fear
if you don’t believe me.
If they don’t believe me,
what can I do?
6. Love is respect
The material world has created hierarchy as every material thing has a beginning and an end and everything is measurable. Therefore everything is greater or less than others in some measurable criterion. However, the soul is eternal and has no beginning or end. We often respect people who are either older or more knowledgeable than us in the world. However, all people are spiritually the same because they all have the same soul. However, each soul appears in this world as a different being. Since all are designed for a purpose of change, therefore all are superior to others in some way. A young child is superior to an adult in many ways. Jesus taught,
“Unless you repent and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:3).
Thus, when you love a person, you also respect him or her for who he or she is. In India when two people meet, they greet each other by folding their hands and saying the word “Namaste”. The word Namaste is made up of two Sanskrit words – namah + te – meaning “I bow to that (deity or spirit) inherent in you.”
If you love your child, you respect him as a person for who he is, as you see many good qualities in the child that should be respected. If you do not respect another person, it simply means that you do not consider that person to be better than you in any way. How can you love such a person who is inferior to you in every way?
Reverence in its highest form takes the form of worship. Therefore, people who love God worship God as they regard God as the highest form of Spirit who is Supreme in every aspect.
7. Love is friendship
When the souls of lovers are one, how can their minds be different? Sharing of mind or thought is called friendship. Aristotle said,
“Without friends no man would choose to live, though he had all other goods.”
Friendship is another important dimension of love. Just as one can rely on friends in the hour of need, the same is true with love. Love is not sustainable without the meeting of the mind. Even a religious person, who loves God, actually develops a kind of friendship with God. He can communicate with God and understand His thoughts. A man in love with his lover knows her thoughts effortlessly. If you love your child, you are also his or her best friend. When you talk to a child, you automatically use their language, style and language to communicate. You play with it like a child. Friendship transforms you from an adult to a child. Children who love their parents are never amazed by their greatness or meanness as they find them on the same level as themselves. Thus friendship is always present between people who love.
What is love without all the dimensions
Most people get the meaning of love wrong. A man and a woman may think that love is nothing more than physical attraction. However, such love does not last unless it is complete in all its dimensions. Therefore, love based on mere physical attraction does not last long unless it is filled with compassion, respect, trust, care, sharing and friendship. Love for God is no exception. God cannot be found simply by praying or following rituals. One should also have compassion for God and develop friendship with Him by knowing His mind. A lover of God should care and share His creations by doing charity and doing good to other people in the world who are all children of God. Therefore, love is rightly described as the greatest knowledge of the world, as it is the means and the goal of everything one wants to learn, feel and know.
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