6 What Basic Functions Must Animals Do To Stay Alive Singleness – 10 Tips to Living a Great Life As a Single Woman

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Singleness – 10 Tips to Living a Great Life As a Single Woman

On any given day, the divorce rate averages between 50-60% in the United States. When you add up the number of women who stay in emotionally dead relationships and relationships that are physically or emotionally abusive, it’s clear that only a small percentage of women are happy with their significant other. I have had significant relationships, but most of my adult life I have been a single woman. I’m not against finding a new man or getting into a new relationship in the future, but there are things about being single that I love and would hate to give up. If you struggle with singleness, the following tips can change your life by building your self-esteem and increasing your financial and emotional security.

1. Organize your work life. This doesn’t mean you have to take a job you hate for a great salary; instead it means the opposite. Find something you love to do and do it to the best of your ability. Find ways to maximize income doing what you love to do. Look for people you can love and support on their journey and people who will love and support you on yours. (Consider joining a support group if you don’t have friends or relatives who believe and affirm you.)

2. Take care of your health. Women are bombarded with misleading health images and statistics. Grocery stores, billboards and televisions show scantily clad anorexic women selling everything from coffee to diapers. 16-year-old models are used to sell anti-wrinkle cream. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I have always been a large, athletic, active woman. A few years ago, I was deeply concerned about my weight. According to the medical charts, I was between 40 and 50 LB overweight. At my annual physical, I brought this up to my doctor. Her answer shocked me. She said, “You have the blood pressure of an athlete, don’t worry.” So my advice – find a sport you like and do it 3 to 5 times a week. It can be water aerobics, dancing, karate or power walking. Find a meal plan that works well for your body. I eat mostly organic raw foods including lots of fresh vegetables, some fruit, some dairy and some protein. I still like sweets so I allow them, but only in small amounts. By maintaining optimal health, you’ll have optimal energy, fewer medical bills, and you’ll be more likely to have a better outlook on life. I exercise almost every day. When I don’t, I’m prone to low energy and low-grade depression.

3. Take care of your finances. Stay debt free at all costs. There are so many creative ways to live well on very little money, as long as you don’t fall prey to advertising or the urge to “keep up with the Joneses.” There are many books that provide excellent information on how to get out of debt and increase prosperity. If you are able to buy a house and it makes financial sense, do it. Don’t wait for god right. Even if, or when, he comes, he will probably admire your financial knowledge. Consider joining a financial investment group, or taking a stock market class at your local community college. Pay off your debts and start saving money.

4. Nurture your maternal instincts. If you really want a child and have the finances to support yourself and the child, and have a large and loving supportive network of family and friends, adopt a child or apply to become a foster parent. If you don’t have the money or don’t think you can handle being a single parent, look for volunteer opportunities that will meet your mothering needs. You can be someone’s emotional mother regardless of your age, income or location. Many children with biological parents need more maternal support from the community.

5. Feed your need for touch. The desire for sex and or to be touched is normal and natural. Some people feel good about casual sex. I am not one of them, and yet I am a living physical woman. The need to be touched is critical to survival. It is very helpful to schedule routine massages and create friendships where normal friendly hugs or kisses are expected. I also love animals and share my home and heart with several pets. There is nothing more comforting than a cat sleeping on my lap while I read a good book.

6. Live in the moment as much as possible. One of the biggest challenges a single woman faces is that we often project into the future. We think, “If I’m single now, I’ll always be single.” This may or may not be true, but either way, we miss out on the gifts that this present moment offers. According to the Buddha’s second noble truth, all suffering comes from our desire and inability to accept our circumstances. Once we embrace the present moment, life’s richness and endless possibilities for joy are apparent.

7. Learn a quick comeback for relatives or negative self-talk. If you’re tired of hearing someone say, “… poor thing, so beautiful and still single,” or any such comment, find a truth or a joke that you can use as a quick response and automatic. For example, think about the advantages of being single. “I love my solitude,” or a good joke, “well you’re already married to Uncle Clyde.” This eventually makes sense and helps you maintain your good feelings about your independence.

8. Look for the advantages of being single or the disadvantages of being married. I have a wide circle of friends and I don’t have to look far. Some of my girl friends married men who had serious health problems. My friends now spend their time and money taking care of their partner. This has hurt their finances and creativity. On my worst day, I wouldn’t trade places with them. Another dear friend of mine is married to a man who, like her, is very opinionated and outspoken. They have terrible verbal clashes. Society is no obstacle for this couple, and I have heard a lot. These dear friends always make up and seem to have a good marriage, but this is not what I would like. As a single person, I have 100% control over where I go, what I do, who I see, when I get home, how much money I spend and what I do with my time. I can be in my pajamas at 5pm or stay out all night. I love him.

9. Create and maintain a good circle of friends. Some single women I know form travel groups, investment clubs, or get involved in couples’ functions. It is important to give and receive love and maintain friendships whether you are in a significant relationship or not. Learning to be a better friend and staying connected to the people you care about is an important part of life’s journey.

10. Keep your mind active. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s just as important to exercise your brain as it is your body. Watch science or nature shows, take a class, join a study group, or find some way to keep yourself fascinated by life. The world is an incredible place; there is so much to learn, be and do. By keeping your mind active, you will experience more of the joy of being alive. Moreover, if you are constantly learning, people will find you interesting, your self-esteem will remain healthy, you will meet new people, maybe you will increase your health or finances, or circle of friendship and support.

Once you learn to be happy in your singleness, you can choose whether or not to share your life with another. If you learn to be financially and emotionally responsible for your health and well-being, you’re more likely to enjoy life whether you’re single or not. If you choose a partner, it will be from a place of strength, not need. Once you learn how to take loving care of yourself, it’s easier to avoid a partner who would bring you down or cause you emotional, physical, or financial harm. In the long run, it won’t matter if you get married, have a boyfriend or live alone. You will live your life with joy.

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