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Surround Yourself with Support to Overcome a Broken Heart
How to create a support system during a love crisis
“Broken Heart Syndrome: Real, Potentially Deadly, But Healing Is Fast” according to Hopkins scientists”.
In 2005, a condition called stress cardiomyopathy was discovered by Hopkins researchers. Also known as “broken heart“The syndrome, it can cause sudden but reversible heart failure that mimics a heart attack. Scientists claim it is triggered by emotional shock such as a relationship breakup, divorce or death.
Speaking from personal experience, when your heart is broken, it’s hard to move forward in life. You get stuck in a funk that feels almost impossible to shake. You move around for days on end feeling lonely, sad and downright depressed. It’s hard to imagine that you can feel happy again…
If you are “there”, please allow me to share “how to” create a loving support system. Then do it. Please.
Be sad, but stay connected.
During the grieving process, it is important to surround yourself with positive people and things. Reconnect with your most optimistic friends. Throw a slumber party and play your favorite dance songs. Invite friends and family over for a cookout or share your favorite dessert with a neighbor.
Think of all those things you’ve wanted to do but never had time for. Volunteer at a local animal shelter, visit an art gallery or museum, take Salsa classes or plant a garden. Take an art class. Learn how to navigate. Whatever you do, make sure it brings you joy and happiness.
Nourish your body and soul.
Nourish your body with healthy foods and drinks. Avoid alcohol for now. It is a depressant and disrupts your sleep cycle. Protein foods like eggs, cheese, meat and poultry stimulate the mind and can keep you up at night. Whenever possible, eat dinner at least 3 to 4 hours before going to bed.
If you’re not drinking eight glasses of filtered water, now is the time to start. Start your day by drinking a cold glass of H2O. Add a lemon wedge or some fresh berries for a refreshing drink. Hold off on drinking coffee until you’ve been awake for at least a few hours and limit it to no more than two 6-ounce cups.
Every night before you go to sleep, write down three accomplishments for that day. He got up from the bed. It worked. Thread by thread. He went back to bed. Use these if you get stuck, they worked for me.
You can also write about your day’s worries, dreams, hopes, graces, and gratitudes. Don’t judge, don’t censor – if it comes to you, let it go and let it go.
Do not reread. Let each page and each day go. You – keep moving forward. You will find little by little that your heart will lighten, the good will come naturally and the pain will slip away.
After journaling, play soothing music to lull you to sleep. After all, it works for little girls and me, why not for you? If you don’t already have a radio or CD player, consider investing in one. Look for models that include a sleep timer and automatic shut-off. Experts recommend listening to nature sounds like ocean waves and birdsong to calm a busy mind.
The mind is a bad neighborhood. Don’t go there alone.
– My peeps
When we’re hurt and depressed, it’s natural to want to crawl into that cave and lick those wounds. BUT, if you stay there day after day, that’s called depression and it’s a baaaaad neighborhood.
I am very grateful to every soul that prompted me to cry for help and made me willing to accept it. Here are some of my supporters. I encourage you to find your own.
Rely on documents, family and friends.
Dr. Belle, Psychologist. Belle’s specialty was helping women break out of addictive and unhealthy relationships with others and themselves. She told me my “picker” was broken and helped me fix it.
Dr. Gray, my primary care physician. She sent me to Dr. Belle and together they collaborated on my treatment, both physically and emotionally.
Family and friends. All angels in disguise especially…
My parents. Mom was stoic, no nonsense, just there for me. When I told my father the news of the breakup, he dropped everything, picked me up, and took me to breakfast. While I cried in my balls, he talked to me about things like sleeping, eating, and talking to my doctor. The kinds of things I’m talking about now.
Claudia. She insisted on getting me out of the house and onto the tennis court. (Great idea – broken hearts need to be physically vented). We spent hours hitting the ball, laughing about sex, men, financial problems, breasts and everything under the sun. She also tore through my closet and eliminated all of my “family/women’s” style clothing. Yes, I dressed like I was the lead in Little House on the Prairie.
Mafe. Years later she is still a daily source of encouragement. She drove for hours to take me to lunch when I told her about the breakup. I will never forget that afternoon. Or the hours we’ve spent together on the phone since then. You don’t have to be a neighbor or nearby to receive (or give) the Love you need.
Catherine. She said, “I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time.” The cat didn’t tell me what to do, how to do it, or give her opinion about it. She gifted me a plane ticket with an invitation for a cozy and compassionate visit.
Tune in to Relationship Advice from Authors and Experts
Dan Millman, Cathy Guisewite, Robert Kiyosaki, Mari Smith, Dr. Harriet Lerner, Maria & Michael Carter, Dr. Kalish, Sandra Taylor, Terry Hernon MacDonald, Karen Rontowski, Tracy Smith, Armando de peralta, Rene Godefroy, Paul Gilligan, Marc H. Rudov, Martha Beck, Erica Miner, Drs. Catherine Hamlin … and the list goes on …
Thanks to wsRadio.com, I was able to spend hours upon hours interviewing love and relationship authors on The Get Ready For Love Show. I read their books, did their exercises, and followed their relationship advice. (Guess what. It worked. That’s another story, another day.)
Feel free to join these interviews, 24/7 at http://www.GetReadyForLove.com/topicindex.html.
Al-anon, last but not least.
How can I describe Al-Ano? Let me put it this way. When I first met Dr. Belle, I told her I wanted my life back and I wanted to feel happy again. She asked me if I had heard of a program called Al-anon and recommended that I try it. “Go to six meetings,” she said, “and see if Al-anon is for you.” I made. I’m still going strong.
To listen to my interview about healthy relationships and the magic of the Al-anon program, please go to: [http://www.healyourselftalk.com/fatigue.html].
In closing, I can tell you that no condition is permanent and time heals all wounds. I can tell you that you must be a very loving and loving person to be so affected by this breakup. I remember something I heard when I was in your shoes. It shook my heart – it gave me hope.
“You think your life is falling apart. Maybe it’s just starting to come together.”
Hmmmmm. This may be true for you too. I can not?
anyone. Wherever you are. Take good care of yourself starting with your body. Get some sleep, replenish your health, and tap into emotional support hotlines—all of it.
And, don’t give up on Love.
Don’t give up until you get your miracle… (and you will.)
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