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Why Does Everyone Have To Be The Same As Us?
Most people on this planet live through the ego. They think that they are special, apart from the crowd in some way, but they are not ready to accept the specialness of other people. They are threatened by people who are different from them – but instead of seeking to understand another person’s point of view, condemn them.
Various specialty clubs
There are many different ‘exclusive clubs’ that people proudly belong to. There are:
Color of leather clubs
Rich, poor and between clubs
Sexual orientation clubs
Creative arts clubs
Intellectual and non-intellectual clubs
Animal rights clubs
Food Choice Clubs
Health Choice Clubs
And the list goes on! What many people fail to accept is that there is actually only one club
The Human Being Club
Our diversity is what makes life interesting. I love watching people who dance or create music beautifully, bring out emotions through their acting skills or are accomplished athletes. I also understand myself well enough to know that I don’t have enough passion for any of these things to make the necessary sacrifices to approach their level of perfection. In my teens and 20s, I played guitar and sang folk songs in public and also dabbled in amateur dramatics – in fact, I wanted to be a Shakespearean actress at the time. In hindsight, I realize that these pursuits were not my last passion. I have friends who are athletes, dancers, singers and artists – each of them has such a passion for their form of expression that it is as important to them as breathing. Though I might have had the talent, I lacked the requisite overwhelming passion, and so I don’t belong to their clubs—I just get a peek in the door through my friendships.
In most countries around the world, members of the creative arts club are welcomed and even sought after, and the ‘cream of the crop’ are showered with our admiration for their superior skills. There are some places where creative expression is banned and the consequences are dire, but fortunately these are few and far between.
The positive and negative effects of these clubs
As mentioned above, creative arts club members are usually not excluded, and many other clubs are willing to open their doors to these people and accept them as friends. However, not all clubs are created equal.
Many clubs give members of other clubs visiting rights! For example, many of us today have friends and colleagues of different nationalities, skin color, religion, politics, sexual orientation, etc. The blending of the members of these clubs creates the platform for the Human Being club.
Problems really arise from strong members of any of these clubs. The self-righteous – the people who hate anyone who is different! Their intolerance is the main cause of suffering in this world of ours. Clubs with more money, power and influence, namely political, religious and health choice clubs, can target these strong members of their own and other clubs and manipulate and induce them into behavior that originates in the beliefs of based on fear. Another club is formed from it – the ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ club.
Being a paid member of any of these clubs can be extremely limiting. Some club memberships are visible ie. I can’t pretend I’m not in the white English women’s club – the English I can get away with for a short time, but the whites and women definitely not!
Some people fear they will be ostracized by other club members if they open their arms and start befriending members of other ‘not allowed/tolerated’ clubs. Indeed, they could lose their friends and family if they made that choice, so fear keeps them in a club that no longer fits them and limits their learning and forward movement.
I am also in two minds about the ‘disease’ clubs. I know it is comforting to be in communication with other people who have the same illnesses, who can offer us support in our most difficult times and when we are in pain. However, I think a lot depends on the orientation of the specific club – whether it functions as a ‘pity party’, or is full of people who are genuinely trying to improve (and don’t believe when you’re told they can’t) and are prepared to look outside of accepted medical practices to find a cure – either through changing a raw food diet, or by trying homeopathy. If there is an exchange of information, with people reporting healings, then more power to them. However, if it just goes back to a lot of people complaining about their lot, then that closes the door to health – and, a question I often ask myself – what happens if one person in this club gets better – and they lose their membership?
Love, Tolerance and Understanding
Instead of trying to wipe people who are different from us off the face of the earth, why can’t we communicate and understand their point of view? In the grand scheme of things, despite what is typically reported, I believe that most people are peace-loving and willing to allow the beliefs of others. We only hear the news about strong extremists in these various groups and then tend to have an unbalanced view of the world at large.
The populations of many countries have become so fearful based on what is happening in their individual lives, they actually vote for fear-based leaders who intend to lead them to war—they vote for people who come from a similar energy as theirs. own. Therefore, the people they think are the same as them. In fact, if any politician dares to mention peace or talk to ‘the enemy’ – they are either branded as weak or traitors, when in fact they are the ones trying to make our lives better. Somehow we are seeing ‘war talk’ as strong and ‘peace talk’ as weak. How strange is this!
I always remember my grandmother being very scared when she heard that a black family was moving in next door. At that time in Bristol there were very few black families in the area and Nanna had only seen black people on television. Such were the times! A few months after the family had moved into the house, Nanna had nothing but praise for them. That winter had been extremely harsh with heavy snowfall and she told me that when the man next door was cleaning his front steps, he cleaned hers too – no one had ever done that for me before. He treated her as he would have treated his own mother. All it took was recognition and a little communication and fear went out the window. Plus, my best friend at the time was Jamaican – so she had first-hand experience of our similarities, rather than our differences.
At the end
I believe it is human nature to communicate and collaborate with people who are like us, but what many people see as ‘like us’ has been narrowed down to very superficial characteristics. I remember my Jamaican friend’s sister being more subdued. She had been the only black woman in her company and then another black woman was hired. They were automatically put to work together because they were both black and obviously had a lot in common – so the employer thought! The truth was that they had nothing in common, they didn’t come from the same place, and they didn’t actively love each other. It is always a mistake to assume something on a purely superficial basis.
I consider myself very lucky to have had an open-minded father who could look past the surface and see the person inside. I remember when he invited a stranger into the house, who turned out to be a local trans. What the father had seen was this man’s camera and he saw beyond poverty and homelessness, the photographer within. They had a great conversation about photography.
I have many friends who are members of a number of the aforementioned clubs and each of them has taught me so much about different cultures and lifestyles and enriched my life in the process. I encourage anyone to strike up a conversation with someone who isn’t like them – you might be surprised at exactly how much you have in common!
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