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Sexless Solitude And Other Poems
1
DON’T JUDGE ME
It’s still connected but I don’t understand it
or I don’t want to understand because
I am very with me and I worry
for her dying libido and mine
own sex narrowed between salsa cooling
Bihu fever, Vishu rituals
ringing emptiness day and night tremble
youth wrapped in age for the single game
in the flame with the fork he carves the image of heaven
to defy the jealous God undo
the sins of the races that flow in my blood:
I love Him through the bodies He created
but they do not understand redemption
in the flooding and parting of the sea
they do not enjoy the flame of henna
in her palms nor let the lily bloom
in valleys they use cracks and rocks
to tarnish beauty and ignite voices
don’t judge me if I’m not white
water still flows in my river
2
Barbed wire fence
My window opens
in the back of a garage
where the guards make water
sometimes they show their dick
to the maid in my kitchen:
they don’t care about any
how can i complain
if boys and girls make love
in the bush between
children’s park and
my yard? They are distant
by a barbed wire fence
3
OVERSIZED
It goes badly
electric circuit
in brain cells
in my drugged sleep
I express expression
oblivious to
victims:
I can’t help my senses
overload
4. FOGGY SUN
Desire to sweat
absorb new sketches
with the pen of the mind
on the pillow
image by image
the night passes
not knowing
what a cloudy sun
rose from the sea
5. AWAY
Not related to trees
he doesn’t know his family
stay away, questions
the ancestors do not change
weather mood:
the sheet reads his name
6. PEACE MISSION
He is surprised to see
so much corruption
in the system
of world peace:
his envious colleagues
of his foreign trip
with the UN
and profits
in dollars, they go up so fast
in career and
they have the best
life and style
while I worry about
freedom in the Congo
untamed people
safe posture
7. WINTER
The day is shorter
the longest night
and yet without sleep
suffer the darkness
in the air in bed
I hear screaming
or the whisper of
concerns without wings
no high poetry
but nightmares by cutting
the sun and the sky
that could never be
8. SLEEP ABUSE
Stinky waking hours
turn into solid abuses
in the abyss of the head
after midnight drug addict
the holes of the mind are torn
the veils I have never worn
they are naturally worried:
sleepless to find out
stupid sophistry
of a poet-professor
unable to correct
its internal balances
and yet posing a stronger punch
academia that cares
one tuppence per native
undoing geniuses
imported girlfriends who
dovetail media to flourish
9. AGAIN AND AGAIN
Again and again
I find myself in bed
my sacred space
but it cannot rest
meditate or dream
now they fail to have
what I’ve always had
her bare society
with goosebumps
clouded by passion
I can’t celebrate Yoni
deep in silence
renewed released returning
no finale
again and again
10. HUMAN RIGHTS
Human Rights Activists
discuss eradication
of manual cleaning
and construction of
wet baths in villages
in the conference room
complain of weak rash
in WC NHRC
and censorship routinely
new staff
before you ask for provisions
for rehabilitation
released cleaners
11. JAGANNATH WITHOUT EYES
I can’t understand
the sky or their mystical emotions
sheltered in consciousness
the complications of time
or sources of plastic mist
through mythical depths
the wings of my thought
are too short to rise to the height of God
or the blue depths of peace
I stand on the edge
of earth physics
waiting on the edge
with shaded lines
and turns in the image march of br>
Jagannath without eyes
if no one sees it
the collapse of the procession
and the dark area
don’t blame the poets:
there are many gaps
and gloom to ignore
12. AWARENESS IS A MATTER
Every death has a transition
to surprise the dead
awareness matters
inconsolably the cow’s tail
in the middle of the river
heaven, far, far away
13. FROM THE WINDOW
Tall houses appear
to grow like trees from the maple
slowly rising up
people become small
with cars, water birds and beasts
in the flame of summer
anxious nervously
see the moving mass of clouds
from the window
eternal models
the wonder of nature on the edge
an orange belt
thousands of lights
twinkle in color like stars–
seat belt fastened
14. ON HER BIRTHDAY
I want the best of life for you
but you understand too much
what I can’t do
you have to be patient and do
what can you…
I cannot create the fruits
I can create space
for you to stay, but I can’t
become the legs
you have to run the race
in yourself and be
what you dream
March flush
and the whiteness of the moon
join in you
you have worlds to conquer
and miles to go, my love
you have to raise the goose
and have gold every day
15. EVEN THE DEAD ARE PEACEFUL
Tracking corridors
in my mind about the seeds
of misplaced dreams now returned
nightmares that drugs can’t control
there is no value in mock meditation
Yoga or Psychic of the Gods
mumbo-jumbo to save
the beasts inside fed for years
now I’m afraid of every move
a suicide bid but dying
it is more difficult when
even the dead are restless
16. IGNITE MINDS WITH VISIONS
I only read my prayers
it cannot be news for tomorrow
nor can images signify
channel surfing with coffee
at the end of the day he cannot reflect
something positive to take
self-justifying pride
age or the hours just drag on
the existence of animals
result worse than animals with
smallness of the waist and worries
forgotten as breaking news
media without vision
praise the shackles of
darkness bluff God and people
yet they kindle the minds with trembling
17. INTO YOURSELF
How to weigh the breath
soul flame or grace
The body hides:
I can’t turn it inside out
nor do I know the weight of life when it is lifeless
between earth and sky
it disappears one with
calm elements
there is no way to recognize the thread
or its binding mechanism
provides life now or
beyond that if I can’t feel
color weight
in the leaves on the tree maybe
shrinking in on itself
18. I WAS PROMISED A NEW SUN
Walking down a long corridor
a ray of light calls out
from a distant window
in front of a figure
gently beckons me to move
further along the pass
a large oak door appears
carved into the stone on the wall
by the strange looking door
symbols from unknown alphabets
I try to push the golden latch
in the glove, but no
open a golden key
in the hand it shines brightly
in the dark I go out
the window opens from the inside
in the sea a large yacht
slowly moving towards
a residence occupied by kings
of rare wealth and power:
I am promised a new sun
19. I WANT TO SLEEP
Living among the sick
and sick what else
I will keep except
the germs and allergens they carry
me spinning
from 10:00 PM to 4:00 AM
maybe from day one
I have never slept well and now
I want to sleep without pills
drinking or sex
thoughtless without prayer in peace
20. MET BULLETIN
It snows all around
for the last seven days
no supplies no planes
all white track
survive in their small shop
for the winter in a fiber shed
bored drink more often
and wait for the next newsletter
21. BROKEN WISHES
Three times a day on foot
in the kitchen sink she
washes the dishes
to save tears and memories
of broken desires that smell
from the pillow over the crack
linoleum in small hole
22. REMIX
Feel confident with the shades
live flickering images
channels sell deceptively:
remote control in hand
change the tunes for the songs my mother
they hum and choreograph
with girls and boys playing sex
sans taste in cheeky cover
23. IS THAT ALL?
With the prayer cocktail
the existence of living animals
and boast, is that all?
in the same bladder
illusion mushrooms grow
toadstools of the cursed tract
24. TRAVEL
trip
no sense of direction
no control over
destiny or destination
I can’t be proud of the vibrations
or flashes in their faces
they come and go on the train
with the same indifference
the shadows of distant houses
the hills and trees continue to pass
25. PSALM
Where do I find my vacation?
at the gates of Sheol?
in dust? or in the light
of living? standing still
among the infidels?
to break ties and throw away
their cords that divide the faith
with flattering language
turn a well into the sea
or preach hypocrisy
unaffected by fire or air:
O Lord, save me from sin
calling them sinners
and bless the soul in
time and I who feel
your healing touch in thoughts
and endure without regret
the burdens of the world
loss of love, or even hope
to live like a lotus leaf
26. CONCLUSION
I wish to clear the cobwebs of legends
that cover the vision, moralize the future
with dubious glory they urge us back:
the echoes of the dead ring out; no use
setting the alarm to turn off 2010
the seconds of life are hidden in empty slogans
periodic exhumation is a travesty
of the obsolescence of the ever cloudy sun
India Gate or Delhi Circus
suffer midnight lust with rites of passage
like the conclusion of a tragic poem
27. LONELYNESS WITHOUT SEX
I do not seek the stone bowl
Buddha used when he was here:
she dwells in the rays of the moon
I can see him smiling
with chest carved by the wind
alone without sex
her light is priceless
but gifted to enlighten
silver linings
28. I HANG NOBODY’S PHOTO
It’s just the color they replace
not content and make distance
with chilling slogans they conquer the waves
that catches the tears before the dreams revolt
what is the use of lamenting the sinking of the ship in the void
or the bravery of moral waste
or the frail cloth of day in a dead world:
it is not good as a gauze for the sick
or the shroud for the dead: their flags deceive all
in the name of independence
they mock millions with noise without substance
while funeral dreams haunt my sleep
I hang nobody’s picture in my room
but watch their shadows masturbate
in damp corners or lure the poppies into the light
the thieves and the righteous
29. THE PORTRAITS WE LOOK FOR are afraid to see
Culture is not repression
but sublimation through expression
why are they police?
art for lesbians
homosexuality
naked sex or blasphemy?
vandalism policy
the tradition of drowning
it aggravates the lower instincts
they know their metaphors
challenge the divine who creates?
destroys the soul, the vision?
the future is not their strong wind
but the honesty of artists to intercept
in possible hell and
come back with portraits we fear to see
30. OWN VALLEY
I don’t know what psalms to sing
or which church to go to feel
flame inside for a while
sit or lie still with
faith meets worry
drinking breath by breath
I don’t know God
or goddess or mantra
to sing when you are afraid
my being and it makes me suffer
the plains of nightmares
paralyzing spirit to live
and with the promised fulfillment
I see no savior coming
to save me when I’m down
I seek freedom from myself:
my trials are mine alone
in the valley of oneself
I must learn to clear the clouds
climbing up or down
Copyright: RKSINGH
Indian School of Mines
Dhanbad 826004 India
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